Introductions I’m a little late to the game on this one. I had my memo sitting in my Palm Pre. It was only when I lost the phone that I remembered this thought about social gatherings. We’ve all been there before: you’re invited to a party, and get this, there’s going to be GIRLS THERE. [...]
Archive for the ‘#999 Things that Bother Me’ Category
Orally-emitted aural agony It seems to me that a great deal of the general populace was not in fact raised in metropolitan or urban settings; rather, a barn was the preferred environment of upbringing. One must not stray far before encountering one of these creatures, those beasts blissfully and perhaps deliberately ignorant of some painfully [...]
“Cute Couples“ No, I’m not a hater. I’m more of a strong disliker, irritated by the slightest of transgressions. But I digress. My beef is with the expression, “cute couple”. I don’t have a particular issue with moderately attractive people who are neither gorgeous nor fugly. “OMGz! They are such a cute couple! Aren’t they?!” [...]
Infernal Laziness: Trial by Fire Amidst intermittent back spasms and general discomfort, I occasionally am able to fall into the blissful unconscious for several hours per evening. Delta waves abound, I had been asleep for about an hour when the pain struck: the shrill of the fire alarm bounced mercilessly about my apartment, through my [...]
Exit-way Courtesy Hurry! Desperate Housewives is on at 8 and you haven’t met your daily old-lady-trampling-quota yet. Yes, we’ve all experienced it, and many have likely perpetrated it. Maybe you’re on your way down from the top floor of your apartment building, two laundry baskets and an ammunition box of detergent in hand, the doors [...]
Entrance-way Courtesy I’m walking really fast. Not because I’m in a hurry to get somewhere, but because just like I tell the cops when I get pulled over, I’m just going the flow of traffic. And everyone is in such a god damned hurry. But no matter how swift my strides, how jiggy my jaunt, [...]
Talking when silence is the generally accepted convention You know what I’m talking about. Those people who feel it necessary to speaky when there should be no speaky. #1: At the movies. “Is he with them? I thought he was a good guy…but why did he shoot that chick? She was a dude? So [...]
Blatant Cell Phone Abuse I was one of the last people in the developed world to purchase a cell phone. I absolutely refused to succumb to the technological imperative to be irrevocably attached to the planet entire. However, it became a simple matter of economics… so I bought one; yet, I vowed never to be [...]
Canadian Citizens Who Don’t Speak the National Languages Welcome to Canada! Land of the free, and home of the brave, allegedly. But apparently the freedom to bravely engage in domestic language studies is a liberty many immigrants choose to brazenly ignore or outright disregard. I mean, why bother learning a whole new language when you [...]
In honour of the glass being in a perpetual state of half-emptiness, it is my pleasure to bring you the latest installment of 999 Things that Bother Me. #998: Little old ladies that insist on paying in exact change. If it wasn’t bad enough that you’re getting gouged $3.89 at Metro for a bag of [...]
