Rampage of unspoken-social-contract violations leaves populace festering with rage, envy
“That Guy” has recently stepped up his activity in your local community, seizing any and every opportunity to show why he deserves to exclusively shatter all modern customs and conventions.
Despite numerous protests and petitions over the years to limit “That Guy” to mere misdemeanors and skullduggery, he has decided to not only cut in line at the supermarket, but also honk his horn at the old lady crossing the street.
That Guy is up to his antics again. Get a restraining order or a shotgun.
The rumour mill has been rife with hot-air-harnessing conjecture and speculation, with some turbines even suggesting that “That Guy” shot Kennedy, the sheriff, and your dog.
“No one is safe!” exclaimed Jimmy Johnston from your next town over. ”‘That Guy’ has totally ruined my enjoyment of life. The other day he picked a fight with the bouncer and I got tossed out because I was standing next to him. I hate ‘That Guy’!”
“That Guy” was recently spotted entering your house without knocking, drinking the last beer in the fridge, and peeing without flushing.
That Guy totally ruined yet another picture. Good thing you'll take another 30 every time you go to the bar.
Your local parliament/congress/band of tribal leaders is currently discussing new laws that would see “That Guy” flogged the next time he does something horrendously offside, like hitting your car/mule without leaving a note or farting and not owning up to the deed.
A recent government report cautions all men in relationships to be on high alert, as “That Guy” is possibly coordinating with “The Other Man” to tag-team your girlfriend.
